Calvin Barrett is a writer, editor, and prolific Mario Kart racer located in Provo, Utah. Currently writing for SB Nation and FanSided, he has covered the Utah Jazz and BYU athletics since 2024 and graduates from Utah Valley University in the Spring.

Well… you did it. A third season of losing, losing, and a splash of accidental winning has led your Utah Jazz to the worst record in the franchise’s history. Teetering at an ugly 17-64, the lose-now, win-eventually squad from SLC is tied for the worst win-loss ratio in basketball, sharing the illustrious crown with the Washington Wizards, who are no stranger to this realm of basketball impurity.

The result of their final game could hold great implications for the oh-so-precious lottery odds the team has sabotaged their season in favor of. Their final opponent: the Minnesota Timberwolves.

Lose, and the Jazz secure a share of the most favorable chance to obtain a budding superstar at the top of the draft order. Win, and the T-Wolves may stumble into the play-in tournament, setting up a legendary collapse that provides Utah with two lottery selections.

But all being rational, even if Minnesota falls this afternoon, their chances of dropping out of the playoffs entirely are slim to none, and the odds of that collapse bearing fruit better than the 14th pick are even uglier.

Let’s just lose the basketball game and keep our fingers crossed until the ping pong balls drop.

So you’re watching the Jazz?

So, on what’s looking to be a beautiful Sunday afternoon, you’ll be deciding to take yourself to the couch at 1:30 p.m. and cheer for your favorite professional basketball team to lose to a division rival in Minneapolis. No judgment here, I’m the one writing about this matchup on the internet, but let’s be honest here, there are many more… pleasant ways to spend the final day of your weekend.

You could be watching the Master’s. Rory McIlroy is pursuing his fifth major championship and rounding off a career grand slam in Augusta. Staving off second-place Bryson DeChambeau with a two-stroke lead, surely history will be made on the greens of Augusta National.

You could be going to church — any building, any denomination, I’m sure they’ll be open by tip-off. Maybe converting to a new religion would be reasonable after a season full of unanswered prayers.

You could call your son after all these long years and attempt to mend your relationship (worth a shot, right? Not that you can make things worse).

You could watch post-race coverage of the Bahrain Grand Prix. In a F1 season already ripe with parity, Oscar Piastri looks to claim control of the driver’s championship away from his teammate, Lando Norris, and the four-time running world champion, Max Verstappen.

Are you still here? Are you still reading? If yes, thank you for your support during one of the roughest seasons in Utah Jazz history. It’s never been easy to be a Jazz fan, and being the fan of a tanking team tends to kill a bit of the excitement for the season, but I, for one, have had a wonderful time covering the team for a year.

Regardless of tonight’s outcome, my final message for the final game is this: cheer on your team, and look forward to next season. Plenty of lessons remain to be learned for the team and fans alike, but with the prospect of fresh talent entering the roster next season, there’s plenty of reason for optimism.

Follow Calvin:

X: @sharkwaffles_

Instagram: @sharkwaffles_